The juxtaposition of fresh love and impending doom does not sit well with me.  Is this what they mean by “bittersweet”?  Through ceremony and ritual, my friends will be united to continue their long lives together in love.  My Grandmother received Last Rites to clear her soul for her final journey.  The cynical humorist would joke that my friend and my Grandmother were meeting the same fate, but this is not the time, nor is it true.

Death does great work of pointing out life’s cruelty, the Cosmic Prank played out by the Almighty His Bad Self. Love, on the other hand, highlights life’s greatest triumph, the raison d’etre, the only thing we can ever hope to achieve, if only for a brief moment.

Standing between the two spheres of existence, glorifying one while lamenting the other, I can’t help but wonder, “Is this it?”

I just wanted to share with you a couple of new articles.

I’ve been following closely the NJ Dirty Dames new season.  Here’s a brief article on their first bout against Virginia’s Roller Girls - click here.

Here is a review of local band Guy and their performance at the Court Tavern.

Enjoy!

I was looking into advanced degrees in English and Writing and Journalism, but the curriculum seems to be little but analysis and critique. Who needs to spend 40 grand on that?

If there are any writers in the Central Jersey area who would like to work together to become better writers, hit me up with a comment to this post. Seriously.

What’s Not Plastic? by Digby

Blackenday by Eldritch

I also wrote a review of Medeski, Martin and Wood’s children’s album “Let’s Go Everywhere.” You can read it here:

Let’s Go Everywhere

It seems it has been a rather productive year so far. I’m just not sure if it’s been quality product.

It’s been a while since my last post because I’ve been busy creating other sites and trying to whore myself to the highest bidder.

There are a few new sites on the Internet that I’ve been spending a lot of time on. They are journalistic in nature, but have the integrity of a Republican’s claims about unexceptional lifestyle choices.

New Brunswick Life - a fun little magazine detailing news, events, and nightlife in New Brunswick, NJ

Beat on the Blog - I started this blog strictly for nefarious money-making purposes.  It could be my one-way ticket out of this dump for good.

RedShift Magazine - a fun little magazine detailing outdoor adventures with the family. Content is sparse, but it should pick up now that Winter is just about over.

NOLAFests.com - New Orleans, the harbinger of Fear. This site allows me to expose my drunk side while still retaining a tiny shred of dignity. The real fun occurs in the message board.

Growing Up Under the High Tension Wires - a new blog by a fictional character who hails from a small, dysfunctional area of town. This will turn into some good, dark fun.

I resolve to stave off materialism.

I resolve to abandon capitalism.

I resolve to denounce imperialism.

I resolve to avoid ‘isms’ in general.

I resolve to think more and speak less.

I resolve to reduce my consumption of goods, resources, and propaganda.

I resolve to turn a blind-eye to mind-numbing distractions like reality television, mediocre news programs, and neo-conservative dogma.

I resolve to make less of an ass-groove in my couch and more of a foot-path in nature.

I resolve to renounce obesity, divorce, murder, and other Great American traditions.

In order to become a skilled reviewer, one must be practiced in the art of sabotage. This being a literary digest, and we separated by great distances, physical sabotage like stealing the writer’s computer or breaking his hands is somewhat out of the question. The ambitious reviewer may certainly take these methods into consideration. The rest of us will need more practical tactics.

The most efficient weapon in a reviewer’s arsenal is the writer’s own insecurity. Let’s face facts; us writers are a pathetic lot. We are incredibly apprehensive, and we overcompensate by pretending to be intellectuals and artists. Outwardly, we are guarded, distant, and pretentious. Inwardly, we are scared, lonely folk with no real purpose. We write for no other reason than to attain recognition in order to build our confidence so we may one day be productive members of society. The skilled reviewer can utilize these shortcomings to his or her own advantage.

Contrary to popular belief, the reviewer’s purpose is to break down the writer’s confidence by writing misleading reviews and comments. Any line of text that is poorly written, contains grammatical errors, and/or spelling mistakes should be praised, or at the very least, overlooked. Conversely, each line of text that flows beautifully and appears to trump even your best work must be derided.

For instance, given the line “I was at the store and my foots falled off,” the reviewer will write, “Beautifully stated! The imagery of both of your feet falling off simultaneously moved me to tears. Pure Shakespeare!” On the other hand, if the reviewer was to read, “Before she could protest, I pressed my lips to hers, enveloping her perfect, supple body within my arms,” the reviewer must ignore the inherent beauty, meanwhile focusing on any clichés. It might help the reviewer to state that this passage comes off as pretentious and wordy. Do not be afraid to emphasize your extreme displeasure. The point here is to discourage the writer from trusting his God-given talent.

If you follow the preceding guidelines as you are reviewing your fellow writers’ works of mediocrity, remember that you are infinitely better than them. Do not let their inferiority stand in the way of your success. Instead, simply debase their works, thus eroding their tenacity to carry themselves forward.

I would love for this article to communicate my own experience of Enlightenment, but I would be lying. Rather than infinite knowledge, I have had the humbling experience of infinite ignorance, and it has shaped my world view for the past 11 years.

I cannot recall the catalyst for my episode, or if there had been one at all. My earliest recollection of the experience is of me standing in the middle of the sidewalk on my college campus when my perception was spontaneously altered. It is important to note here, while speaking of altered perception, that this was neither drug nor alcohol induced. On any other day, one could certainly argue that position, but not this particular day.

The depth of my surroundings had shifted from four dimensions to two or three. I was completely dissociated from my temporal/spatial location. I must emphasize that this was not an out-of-body experience. I was fully aware of my physical being, it just happened to be separate from the rest of existence.

As I scanned the distant objects desperately trying to make sense of this bizarre occurrence, I had the sudden and painful realization that I didn’t know anything. All of the “knowledge” I had gained in the first 19 years of my life had been vain, superficial information with no real insight into Reality. I had become aware of the awful, nagging truth that I was completely and utterly ignorant to my Self and the world around me. The Ultimate, in the philosophical and spiritual sense, was very real and very tangible, but my quest for “information” was pushing me in the wrong direction.

I must have looked like a complete ass standing on that sidewalk, observing my surroundings as if for the first time. The power of this experience was so overwhelming, I felt I might collapse to my knees in tears. As I looked at the faces of passing strangers, I had the urge to throw my arms around each of them and say, “Thank you.” Luckily, I was still grounded enough in consensual reality to know that this would have been extremely awkward.

When I had recovered a few minutes later, I immediately made my way to my dorm room. I was determined to flesh out this experience and integrate it into my concept of Reality. I sat down, closed my eyes, and breathed.

For the first time, meditation yielded vivid, meaningful visions that are, to this day, crystallized in my mind. With my mind’s eye, I saw the faces of all humanity: Whites, Blacks, Asians, Men, Women, Children, Clowns, Mohandas Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Adolf Hitler, and on and on. I kissed each person on his cheek.

Finally, I was lying on the grass, peering up at a kaleidoscopic sky. A woman stood over me, reading from an ancient, sacred text in a language I could not understand. It didn’t matter. The meaning was perfectly clear. She closed the text, and I awoke in my dorm room, in my chair, still seated in a Lotus position. My heart was light.

From that moment on, I have tried, often in vain, to see the Universe as it is: interconnected, complex, and vulnerable. I have seen this in all elements of the immediate Universe, namely the people, animals, plants, and objects right here. That experience had spurred me to study spirituality and philosophy, combined with key elements of psychology and physics, to find an integrated, exhaustive view of this thing we call Life.

You are a failure. You are a failure as a leader, as a business man, and as a human being. Your failed policies, decisions, and verbal bowel movements are piling up around our necks, and I have to admit that it is beginning to stink.

Alas, all of the blame cannot rest on your shoulders alone. We, too, are failures. We failed to remove you. We failed to stand up to you. We elected an opposing Congress that has so far failed to control you. How have we come to this impasse?

As I see it, sir, there are two possibilities for resolving this conflict. Which direction we take is up to you. The first possibility is one of compassion and diplomacy. We can sit down like human beings and discuss an amicable solution where all sides reap a benefit. This option, sir, is the best of all possible options, but I know, from previous experience, that it is not the option that is in your vocabulary.

The second option, though far more nefarious, is the option you will best understand . The second option is to remove you by brute force. At this point in time, since you have successfully dwindled our National Guard and emaciated our domestic military, we can probably walk right up to your front door. With our numbers increasing daily, even the D.C. police force will be overwhelmed.

Fear not, El Capitan. The second option is not in our vocabulary. Despite the number of times you have disgraced us on the world stage, we will continue to fight for option number one. We are part of a peaceful, non-violent revolution that seeks to develop a future that is at peace with you and your kind.