An Open Letter to the President of the United States of America
Dear Mr. President,
You are a failure. You are a failure as a leader, as a business man, and as a human being. Your failed policies, decisions, and verbal bowel movements are piling up around our necks, and I have to admit that it is beginning to stink.
Alas, all of the blame cannot rest on your shoulders alone. We, too, are failures. We failed to remove you. We failed to stand up to you. We elected an opposing Congress that has so far failed to control you. How have we come to this impasse?
As I see it, sir, there are two possibilities for resolving this conflict. Which direction we take is up to you. The first possibility is one of compassion and diplomacy. We can sit down like human beings and discuss an amicable solution where all sides reap a benefit. This option, sir, is the best of all possible options, but I know, from previous experience, that it is not the option that is in your vocabulary.
The second option, though far more nefarious, is the option you will best understand . The second option is to remove you by brute force. At this point in time, since you have successfully dwindled our National Guard and emaciated our domestic military, we can probably walk right up to your front door. With our numbers increasing daily, even the D.C. police force will be overwhelmed.
Fear not, El Capitan. The second option is not in our vocabulary. Despite the number of times you have disgraced us on the world stage, we will continue to fight for option number one. We are part of a peaceful, non-violent revolution that seeks to develop a future that is at peace with you and your kind.
Posted on December 6th, 2007 by John Farley
Filed under: Trepidation
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